


Stinking Demons!

by Kwiekweg



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-03-07 00:37:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18862186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kwiekweg/pseuds/Kwiekweg





	Stinking Demons!

“Something _**must**_ be done!” Cassandra stated firmly, slamming her open palm down on the heavy wooden table. The Inquisitor sighed and leaned out the open window to look at the open, grassy area just below. In an unkempt copse, Cole sat playing happily with the shiny beetles trundling busily about in the dust.

“She’s right, you know.” Sera said simply, barely looking up from whatever she was furiously scribbling on a half-unfurled parchment. The Inquisitor’s mouth hung open. “No Sera! Not you as well!” She made a face, rolling the scroll up and clenching it in her fist. “Yes Sera, me as well! What exactly does it say that you wouldn’t think that I had noticed?” The Inquisitor had no response to that. Instead he looked in Solas's direction. At first, it seemed like Solas didn’t notice the Inquisitor’s eye falling upon him, pleading for his input, but he gazed out the window past him at Cole. The boy-spirit-demon-whateverheis had abandoned the insects, and was now rolling in the grass with a couple of nugs hopping around like they were playing a game only they understood. Josephine broke the silence by muttering something about putting poison out to clear out the nugs in the fortress. “Don’t you dare!” Leliana hissed, nudging her with her elbow.

Solas spoke, “I have to agree with the Seeker, Inquisitor. Things cant be allowed to continue in this manner.” The Inquisitor put his head in his hands, “But how…?” Bull interrupted his thoughts, “Traps, boss. It’s how we always made sure the ‘Vints didn’t get the drop on us back in Saheron.” His hands dropped to his sides, “I suppose its traps then. Josephine?” He looked questioningly at their diplomat, who shuffled through some papers. “Well, Varric has some skill, but he isn’t scheduled to be back until tomorrow night at the earliest.” Cullen, silent until now, turned from the window and rested his hand on his sword. “I would hate to think that we have an entire army at our disposal, and couldn’t trap a single young man who never leaves the stronghold unattended. We’ll have traps in place by this afternoon.” The Inquisitor grunted in agreement and turned back toward the window. Cole was gone. “Oh thank the Maker.” Dorian’s voice drolled out from behind the book case. “…and I thought we’d be dealing with this little problem forever. We cant have that, now can we?”

 

 

\---

 

The sun was shining, and almost nobody in Skyhold was unhappy or hurting. Cole smiled vacantly to himself, giving the impression that the boy was not all there. However, there were those in the castle who knew better, and they hid behind the great stone stairs watching him saunter closer. Just another few steps… As he stepped on the trigger, Iron Bull, Josephine, Cassandra, and the Inquisitor all sucked in a breath simultaneously and ran around the corner to where the net should have fallen and captured the young man. It was empty. “We should have known he would be too clever for a mere fishing net.”

Cassandra scoffed. The four of them went searching for where Cole must have vanished to. After an hour, Sera rounded a corner and gave a long side eye to Josephine looking under a woodpile. “You still looking for Cole, yeah? Caught a glimpse of him going into the kitchen. You might want to catch up before all the scones go missing.” She barely finished her sentence before almost being bowled over by Cassandra and Bull rushing up the stairs to the kitchen area. She made a disgruntled tsk sound, “Thank you Sera.” She said, in an unsettling impersonation of the Inquisitor’s accent. “You’re such an asset to the inquisition, Sera.”

The Inquisitor squeezed her shoulder as he ran past, “Thank you, Sera. You’re the best!” Josephine smiled and followed the group quickly.

 

 

\---

 

Cole was in the kitchen, just like Sera had said. “Alright Cole.” Bull said coaxingly, “There’s no way out of here except to come with us.” He lunged forward to catch the boy in a bear hug. Cole looked bewildered for a split second, and Bull's arms caught only air. Cassandra immediately took a grappling stance, her feet even with her shoulders and knees bent in perfect form from years of combat training. “Josephine!” she barked, “Don’t let him get out that way!” Cole gave her a perplexed and reproachful look, “But I haven’t even done anything!” he cried plaintively. All of a sudden he was gone.

Cassandra straightened up. Josephine smoothed out her skirts, and the Iron Bull grabbed a scone from a nearby basket. “What are we all doing in here?” the Inquisitor finally decided to wonder aloud. Bull shrugged and took a bite from his scone. Cassandra gave a confused look and walked out, closing the door behind her.

 

 

\---

 

“But what are we going to do?” Josephine asked, in a desperate voice that was very closely approaching a whine. “It is beginning to look as though there is no easy answer to your problem.” Solas answered calmly. Dorian strode past him, and slammed his book on the table, nearly upsetting the glass of wine he carried in the other hand. “This can not stand! I will not endure another moment of this filth!” The Inquisitor buried his head in his hands, he felt a headache brewing. At that very moment, Varric strode in, and shrugged his dusty satchel from his shoulders.

“What is going on here?” The entire room heaved a sigh of relief. Cassandra looked for a moment as if she was going to pick the dwarf up and hug him. “Varric.” The Inquisitor began, his eyes meeting that of his friend’s with exhaustion and intensity. “We are going to need your help.”

 

\---

 

“But Varric, I don’t understand.” Cole sat in a steaming barrel, bubbling under the brim of his hat. Varric took Cole’s hat gently from his head, the boy’s lanky hair falling over both of his eyes.

“Well kid. It’s simply something that needs to be done, and everyone here thinks it was a long time coming.” Varric sat back on the squeaky wooden chair, ready to lend any assistance as needed.

“No.” said Cole, his eyes getting that far away look again, “I understand why I have to do this. I want to be like people. I want everyone to be happy.” He sunk down deeper, his eyes barely visible above the edge of the barrel.

“Then what, kid? What is it?” Varric looked at the boy with fatherly compassion in his gaze.

Cole thought in silence for a moment, “If they wanted me to take a bath… why didn’t they just say so?”


End file.
